What I've Been Up To

We just got back from a lovely little family vacay at the in-law's.  The boy and I were there for the entire week, and the Mr. drove out on Thursday night to join us for a long weekend.  Their town is one of the loveliest places around, and best of all there's lots of water nearby, which makes my boy especially happy!  We did lots of biking, beaching, and playgrounding.  My mother-in-law kept us well-fed with her delicious cooking, and we frequented the local ice cream stand.  The boy reveled in the joy of being the center of his little universe with four adults at his beck and call.

I'm fully expecting grandparent withdrawal this week.

Good thing we have a playdate tomorrow morning to ease the pain of re-entry into real life.

The Mr. and I celebrated our anniversary on Saturday.  We left our boy in the loving care of his grandparents and went out for an afternoon on the town.  First we hit up an area farm where we bought up a bunch of local strawberries...mmm!  Then we headed into the downtown area where we played a round of miniature golf, did some shopping, and finished up the afternoon with an early dinner.  We talked and laughed and reflected on the past, and I loved every second of it...except when I lost at miniature golf!  (Yes, I am much too competitive.)

In some ways, our life has certainly taken a different course than we dreamed it would when we started out at the beginning.  As we talked over dinner, we found that it was easy to think about and reflect on the past, but we discovered it was more difficult to think about and plan for the future.  Like most couples, we share hopes and dreams for the days to come...and yet we know better than most that life doesn't always go how we planned.   There is so much out of our control.

It's a difficult thing - in some ways it's hard to allow ourselves to hope and dream, because we don't want to be disappointed.  And we know that we mustn't grasp too tightly to our own plans, but rather remain flexible in order to allow ourselves to be placed at the center of God's will.

But honestly?  Sometimes I'm fearful that my hopes/dreams/plans and God's will seem mutually exclusive.  I know it's not true, but it can be scary to give up control.  And yet I know that God has a good plan for our lives, and that He's calling me to trust Him yet again.

Once in awhile, though, I wish that for a few moments I could know the carefree confidence of a couple who takes for granted their ability to grow their family with ease.  Those who don't know the physical, emotional, and financial strain of infertility treatments.   

And yet.

I do know that my husband and I are stronger as a couple for what we have gone through together.  For that I am thankful.  I fully realize that our struggles could tear us apart.  And yet our love is deeper and stronger than ever.  I feel blessed that God has given me such a wonderful partner, and despite our highs and lows, I wouldn't want to do life with anybody else. 

What a joy to walk hand-in-hand on this journey through life as we love, nurture, and care for our beautiful son, build our home, and serve the Lord together.

I have much to be thankful for.